Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
MIDGETS
????
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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