I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
