Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
