Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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