Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
