idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
