# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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