I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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