Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
