Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
