that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
