Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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