I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
