Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
porn star boner night. come get it.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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