I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
