Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
