Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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