so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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