Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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