I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
