Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
