would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
