dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
