Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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