The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
