he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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