I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
