he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
