he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
