ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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