I'm drive I can fine osifer
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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