Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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