This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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