Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
handjob tips. give me some.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
