I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
