so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
