My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
