Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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