LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
