So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We had to coat check the pizza.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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