Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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