is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
