and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize