It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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