i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
