five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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