last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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