You're completely useless in the revolution.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
