im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
