I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
