He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
