One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
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