I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
did i walk over a car last night?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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