I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
How naked do you want me to be?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
