He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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