New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
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