if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
There's a naked man in my car right now.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
