just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
