i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
