Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Duck Duck Cougar?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
