Well apparently he's into motor boating.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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