i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
