Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
COCAINE IS GR8
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
