It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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