im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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