so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
