I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
that's an acceptable place to lick
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I can't turn off my feet"
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
