I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
